My Way Or The Highway

Last week I went to Chicago for an extended "Winter Warmup Weekend" because what better place to visit in the middle of January than Chicago, right? The truth is, it wasn't really any colder than New York has been, and a visit with my good friends was definitely in order after the stress I've experienced over the last six weeks or so. Sadly, I arrived with a cold and left with a bit of food poisoning, but I still managed to enjoy myself, which is a testament to either my stubborness or my friends' good humor. Or maybe the champagne.

On Friday night, a few hours after I got in and after I dropped a pretty penny on a delicious dinner at a fancy new Cajun-inspired place in Andersonville, a few of us trekked up to my favorite old haunt, Cafe Bong. For those who are relatively new readers and unfamiliar with Cafe Bong, it's a little karaoke dive bar owned by a wonderful Korean woman named Chinny (or, Ginny, if you prefer). It's located on the northern tip of Andersonville, which was once, ten years ago or so, sort of a "boho" neighborhood I guess, but has become something of an overpriced interior design/foodie/gay mecca in recent years. It's also the hood I called home for most of my time in Chicago.

Anyway, Cafe Bong is a special place, the kind of place where random groups of visitors become close friends by the end of the night, and where, even if you didn't know you lost it (or that you had it in the first place), you can find your soul. And once upon a time we almost lost Cafe Bong. I was never very clear on the details — one day I went in and Chinny was gone and had been replaced with this fratty yuppie guy who told me Chinny had sold the Bong to him and that he would be "changing things around here" immediately. Sure enough, the next week, I went back and the place at been re-painted and the mens and womens bathrooms were swapped. He even had sports on the karaoke screens!! And when I asked if I could sing, he told me karaoke didn't start until late at night.

In one week, every trace of the Bong's soul had been tragically sucked out in a vacuum and what remained was a thing of nightmares: blonde bimbo bartenders in half shirts and guys with backward baseball caps giving each other high fives and man hugs after each homerun. I was heartbroken. How did this happen? Where was Chinny? Why didn't we even get any warning so we could say good-bye? None of it made any sense. So, I took to this here blog and wrote out my frustration. And then something miraculous happened. Chinny came back! The bong was restored. As quickly as it was taken away from me, it was given back (just in time for my going away party!). Just like that! And when I asked what happened, the only definitive answer I got was, "You wrote about it. You put it on the internet."

I still don't know what that means or how something I wrote on this blog could have any effect on a neighborhood business, but to this day, several years later, when I make it back to Cafe Bong — and I promised when I moved, I'd always come visit when I made it back to town — I get the royal treatment and Chinny never fails to thank me for whatever it is I did or whatever it is I helped to start. There was a movement, for sure. You could feel it. You can still feel it. The energy in there is very much "Fuck the man," which is one I whole-heartedly embrace with every fiber of my being, and was something I desperately needed to tap into when I found my way to the Bong this past Friday night.

As I've hinted, things in my professional life have been wacky lately and they still aren't resolved, but in the past few weeks I've added a new song to my karaoke repetoire that has helped me deal with the mess. I've been singing Frank Sinatra's "My Way" and when I took the mic on Friday night at Cafe Bong — to a full house, I might add (something I'd never seen there before) — I sang the shit out of that song and dare I say, I brought the fucking house down. And look, I'm no great singer. But I've got heart. And I've got soul. And singing that song to the cheers of friends and strangers alike, I was reminded of that. As I triumphantly hit that final note, my heart thumping in my chest, I was reminded that just like Chinny and just like my beloved Cafe Bong and just like that tiny corner of Andersonville that has resisted yuppification, I've got fight in me. So, "the record shows, I took the blows and did it myyyyy wayyyy!!"

Comments

[stephanie]

Just make sure you don't sing My Way in the Philippines!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/07/world/asia/07karaoke.html

[citywendy]

Oh my! I actually laughed outloud at this line:

“‘I did it my way’ — it’s so arrogant,” Mr. Albarracin said. “The lyrics evoke feelings of pride and arrogance in the singer, as if you’re somebody when you’re really nobody. It covers up your failures. That’s why it leads to fights.”

I will be selective about when and where I sing "My Way," for sure.
...But I'm still gonna sing it.

[ChicagoJen]

I LOVE this. Good for you and your way. I read you faithfully and didn't know that the blog helped bring Cafe Bong back!

As for me, I live about 6 miles from there and still haven't been! I need to fix this.

Thanks for the inspiration!

[Sarah]

I hope the professional life gets better. I'm not sure what to do without my Dear Wendy article of the day....

[J.Andrews]

Wendy -

I'm glad you got beloved Cafe Bong back but I must take issue with your revisionist history regarding the sale of the Bong.

First, the new owner was my brother so I was closely involved with the management of the bar after Ginny decided to bring in a partner.

First, you describe the new owner as a "fratty yuppie guy" that somehow tried to try to turn the place into some cliched Lincoln Park sports bar. Simply not true.

Yes, the dwarfish pool table was removed but that was only to discourage the gangbangers from hanging around and selling drugs in the bathroom.

You were correct when you wrote that he spruced up the place a bit, however,the Bong was so scuzzy that the little he did hardly made a dent. It was still a dump.

While the karoake was intially put on hiatus, it was eventually brought back. In fact, I recall seeing you in the bar late on a Saturday night, several weeks after the sale, singing and having a good time.

Regarding the sale, the truth is Ginny's kids begged her to get out of the business (financial and health concerns) so she opted to take in a partner. And as a partner, she was fully aware of the changes at the Bong. To suggest otherwise is simply not correct.

I'm happy you're still able to enjoy The Bong when you come back to visit Chicago.
I'm just not sure that you have all your facts straight.

[fetamy]

"Bong's soul had been tragically sucked out in a vacuum and what remained was a thing of nightmares" so harsh dude...
>designer sunglasses